The Decepticon Activities List
by ThreeInOne
Summary: Remember when the Autobots mentioned that they have an activities list? Well why not the 'Cons? Join all of your favorite Decepticons as they go through what they do in their spare time, when they're not bashing Autobots or killing each other. Rated T for violence and Cybertronian language. Ask Starscream fans, check AN for important info.
1. 1-10

**((Okay, so, after being tired out by answering countless reviews and PM's, I'm quitting Ask Starscream indefinitely. I thought I would post this instead since I get a kick out of this kind of thing. It also requires reviews, only it concerns all of the 'Cons, and not just one or two. It concerns their 'activities list' or basically what they do when they get bored. So review me and I'll add more.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers, pinatas, the Spanish Alphabet song on YouTube, Dolly Parton's _Islands in the Stream, _LMFAO's _I'm Sexy and I Know It, _Star Wars, the Phantom of the Opera, Spider-Man, poker, Star Trek, Disney, or Phineas and Ferb's _SIMP. _That is all.)****)**

**1. Taunt Megatron with a pinata.**

It was Steve's creation day and, as part of the activity night, it was decided that there would be a party to celebrate. Everything was going great until they brought out the pinata.

Megatron turned from his high-grade at the cheering to see that someone, most likely one of the fliers, had fastened the pinata to the ceiling and it was dangling there. He felt his optic twitch briefly at the very life-like figure of Optimus Prime standing there, blaster raised, a determined look in his paper mache optics. He set his high grade and strode over to Steve, who had just been handed the stick and the blindfold.

"Lord Megatron," he snapped to attention at the sight of his leader. "Are you enjoying the party?"

"Yes, yes. May I see the stick?" Megatron's tone was oddly distant.

Steve's optics widened slightly but he handed it over without delay. Megatron turned it over in his hands. He prodded the Optimus Prime piñata tentatively, then flinched back. It did nothing but swing on the string. More boldly, he poked it again. Then he hit it slightly. This caused it to swing faster.

"This won't end well," Knock Out remarked from the back of the crowd.

Megatron hit it again. And again. In fact, in a moment or two, he'd gone ballistic, wailing on the Optimus Prime pinata with the stick while laughing maniacally. It fell from the ceiling to the ground and he lunged on it, stick crushing paper mache and Energon goodies alike. His sword was quickly withdrawn and he slashed his foe's head off, tossing it behind him. Megatron tore out the Energon goodie innards of his arch-enemy, still laughing, before bringing out his fusion cannon.

"Hit the deck!" One mech shouted and everyone scattered behind furniture. The shots reduced the paper mache to ashes and the Energon went up in a mini-explosion. By the time the smoke cleared and everyone crawled out, Megatron was standing there, armor slightly charred. He was still laughing and he held the Optimus Prime head in his hands, occasionally looking at it and beaming dementedly.

It was agreed that nobody ever needed to bring in a piñata ever again. Although Steve could've sworn he saw the piñata head amongst Megatron's personal trophies.

**2. Play the Spanish Alphabet song over the intercom repetitively.**

Soundwave ended up crashing after the song played through his head for the fifth time. Everyone generally agreed that the song was annoying, even if everyone was humming it for several weeks afterwards.

**3. Get in a staring contest with Breakdown.**

Steve had an experiment to try. Naturally, his other Vehicon friends didn't want any part in it, having experienced their subjects' wrath in the past. Steve, you could say, was particularly stubborn. He'd read, a while back, that Breakdown had an acute case of paranoia and hated to be stared at. And this was what he wanted to test.

"Hey Breakdown," he called to the lug, intercepting him as he was walking down the hall to the medbay. "Wait up!"

Breakdown turned. "Oh hey Steve," he jauntily waved. "What's up?"

"Staring contest," Steve said briskly, fixing his optics on Breakdown.

Breakdown looked at him blankly, shifting on his pedes. He could feel the optic band locked on him, honing in as though it had a laser targeting system, piercing through to his very spark. Plotting his demise. He was too young to die now! Although he knew he would eventually die in the end, as they all did, and it would be fruitless to fight it.

With that Dead End-ish thought in processor, he turned, and calmly walked up the hall. Steve out of sight, he broke into a sprint, tearing into the medbay at a break-neck speed. Knock Out barely had time to turn and utter a greeting before his blue and white blur of an assistant tackle-hugged him and clung to him, whimpering.

"Breakdown," Knock Out scowled, more at the possible scratches than the ten-ton ball of metal latched onto him, "_what _are you doing?"

"So cold," Breakdown shivered. "So cold. Watching me...staring."

"Alright, who decided to stare at Breakdown?"

**4. Host a karaoke party**

"_Islands in the stream,_" Megatron and Airachnid sang together, the video game playing on the hangar's large computer screens, the rest of the Decepticons gathered. "_That is what we are. No one in between, how can we be wrong. Sail away with me, to another world. And we'll rely on each other, uh uh, making love to each other, uh uh._"

"Oh c'mon!" Megatron protested once the score popped up. "We didn't get a perfect score? How is that possible? We're amazing singers!" No one bothered to point out that most of the mechs had turned their audio receptors off the minute the two tone-deaf Decepticons had started to sing. Instead, they agreed whole-sparkedly with the two. The Decepticon leader stormed off to a corner, grumbling.

"My turn," Knock Out stepped up, taking a mike from Airachnid. He picked his song and waited. "_I'm sexy and I know it. I'm sexy and I know it. Look at that body, look at that body, look at that body. I work out!_" By the time he'd finished, the game had given him a perfect score.

"Oh c'mon!"

**5. Go Trick-or-Treating**

Maria Robinson had just gone inside to answer the phone when her doorbell rang insistently. Snatching up the bowl of candy, she started for the door. "Trick or treaters, always so determined," she muttered to herself, opening the door. "Hel-lo?" She nearly screamed at what was standing outside of her door. Megatron, Starscream, Soundwave, Knock Out, Breakdown, and Airachnid were outside of her house. Megatron was dressed up as a Sith Lord, Starscream as a pilot, Soundwave as the Phantom of the Opera, Knock Out as a vampire, Breakdown as one of those lions from Voltron, and Airachnid as Spider-Girl. Knock Out was holding a trash bag.

"Trick or treat," the medic said, holding the bag out.

"I-I-I," Maria choked out.

Megatron's face suddenly contorted in a snarl. He shot out his sword and shoved his face in hers, roaring, "GIVE US ALL YOUR CANDY!" Maria sputtered to herself, tossed the entire bowl in their bag, and fainted dead away.

"Mission accomplished," Starscream crowed.

"To the next house!" Megatron announced.

**6. Act out a scene from your favorite movie**

"Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father," Megatron said dramatically while impersonating Darth Vader breathing. He approached Starscream, who backed up toward the open hangar doors. All of the Vehicons were gathered, watching, as were Knock Out and Breakdown. Soundwave was filming it. Airachnid was mentally griping; she'd wanted to do an upside down Spider-Man kiss scene with Knock Out.

"He told me enough," Starscream snapped. "He told me you killed him."

"No," Megatron shook his head. "Luke, _I _am your father."

"No," Starscream whispered. "No! That's not true! Impossible!"

"Search your feelings, you know it to be true!" Megatron continued. Starscream was near the edge of the opening now.

"NOOOOOO!" the Seeker shouted a bit too dramatically. "NOOOOO!"

"Luke, you can destroy the Emperor. He has foreseen this. It is your destiny! Join me, and together, we can rule the galaxy as father and son! Come with me. It is the only way."

Starscream's optics shifted between Megatron and the open hatch. "Do I have to?" he whispered.

"Unless you want me to cut off your hand like the script called for," Megatron hissed back, brandishing his sword. Starscream backed up nervously and dropped out of the hatch, falling down to Earth.

"And, scene," Megatron announced, bowing. It was only then that he noticed Starscream hadn't flown back up. He blinked and stared out of the hatch at the screaming and falling Seeker. "Knock Out, did you ever fully repair the damage to Starscream's T-cog during our last battle with the Autobots?"

"I, uh, don't recall doing so, my liege," Knock Out shook his head.

"Slag," Megatron cursed, before transforming and flying down to help out his SIC. Airachnid snickered.

**7. Play Poker**

"Ha!" Starscream put down his hand. "Two pair. Beat that!"

Megatron set down his hand. "Flush. I believe that beats you."

"I shouldn't have folded," Knock Out muttered.

Soundwave looked from 'bot to 'bot before he set down his hand calmly and began to gather up the Energon goodies calmly. Everyone stared in disbelief.

"A Royal Flush?" Starscream exclaimed. "That's his third one in a row! How does he do that?"

No one noticed Soundwave pat Laserbeak, or the fact that the Deployer had a deck of cards tucked between himself and Soundwave's chest.

**8. Prank call people**

The Decepticons sat in the bridge, Megatron, Soundwave, Dreadwing, and Knock Out all in a circle, with Steve next to them. Dreadwing held the phone blankly.

"I do not understand," he remarked. "What is the purpose of 'prank calling'?"

Megatron sighed. This was why Starscream had been at least somewhat of a better SIC; at least he understood the day's activity. "I'll show you," Megatron took the phone and punched in a number. He waited through the ringing, although he looked irritated. Finally, a voice spoke.

"_Hello?_" it was the baritone voice of Optimus Prime, and he sounded confused. "_Who is this? How did you get this number?_"

Megatron cleared his throat. "Hello, Optimus Prime," he said in a startlingly different, higher-pitched voice. "I'm Captain Kirk with NEST. I wish to provide you with some news that could be of grave importance to you."

"_Optimus?_" another voice asked, this time Ratchet's. "_Who is it?_"

"_It is someone named Captain Kirk with NEST. He wishes to tell me something important. Go ahead, Captain Kirk._"

"I wish to inform you that the US government has decided that you and your group are too much of a threat to keep around," Megatron continued in his fake voice. "As such, we have planes overhead your base at this very moment. You have thirty seconds to abandon your base or else we can and will nuke it."

"…_You are bluffing,_" Optimus said, though his voice quivered.

"Am I?" Megatron held up the phone to Soundwave, who played back a recording of plane engines and a countdown.

"_Ratchet, open the Ground Bridge, now!_" was the last thing they heard before Megatron hung up. All the Decepticons broke into laughter.

"Oh man, that never gets old," Knock Out chuckled. "You next, big guy." Dreadwing was handed the phone. He put in a number.

"_Hello?_" Someone answered almost immediately.

"Starscream," Dreadwing said with a shaky, echoing voice.

"_Who is this?_"

"This is the ghost of Skyquake," Dreadwing replied.

"_Nice try, Megatron, but I'm not falling for it again,_" Starscream snorted. "_Besides, Skyquake is a zombie, not a ghost. Good day." _And he hung up.

Dreadwing put the phone down and stared. "…What?"

**9. Watch some good old home movies**

Megatron was drawn to the bridge by the sound of laughter. Puzzled, he frowned and tried to think of what would be so funny as to be amusing the troops that much. Curiosity besting him, he stepped through the doors and marched right up behind the gaggle of Vehicons, with Knock Out, Breakdown, and Dreadwing sitting in front. Soundwave was over at a terminal, banging his head against the monitor in barely-contained frustration. Megatron wasn't sure why, until he looked at the screen.

The symbol flip appeared and the technicolor animation appeared, showing the gray buckethead in all his glory, yelling commands at his troops and shooting at something off-screen. Knock Out and Breakdown had burst into laughter, as had most of the Vehicons, while Dreadwing remained impassive.

"Knock Out," Megatron's voice cut through the commotion and caused all to yelp and turn. Knock Out fumbled with the remote before cutting it off, "what have we said about watching my old home movies?"

"I'm sorry, my liege," Knock Out, who'd been trying to keep a straight face, cracked a grin. "But it is just so amusing to see how…different you looked back then."

"Yeah, plus all of your schemes were so ridiculous!" Breakdown guffawed and nudged KO, not noticing how nervous his friend, and everyone around him, had become. Megatron's optics narrowed. Then, without warning, the Decepticon leader also laughed.

"It was a bit ridiculous, wasn't it?" he also took a seat. "Turn it back on. I wish to see this." It went back on, showing him locked in battle with Prime. _I was so young back then, _he marveled. "Can you really believe I wanted to harness power from the sun back then? The sun! Only if I wanted it to blow up on me." It switched to a scene showing Megatron, Starscream, and Soundwave talking.

"Hey Soundwave!" Megatron called jovially. "Do you remember when you used to turn into a tape deck?" Soundwave slowly nodded. "Well the 80's called; they want their technology back!" This prompted another round of laughter.

Soundwave muttered something under his visor along the likes of how the wrong guy got disintegrated into dust before he went back to his work.

**10. Attempt to rap Disney**

A bunch of the Decepticons had, unfortunately, decided to get drunk, and had somehow tricked Orion Pax into getting drunk as well. Now the 'bots were sitting in the rec room.

"I'm a mouse," Orion was rasping hoarsely before he took another swig from his third cube of high grade Energon. "Mickey mouse. I'm a mouse in a house with a band on the lamb on the-on the…"

"Tan?" one Vehicon snorted.

"Tan," Orion nodded. "Iron Man, smoking marijuana from a Pepsi can. Back in black, I hit the sack, it's been too long I'm glad to be back, back in black."

"Mickey mouse," one Vehicon sang drunkenly.

"Donald duck," Another chimed in.

"Mickey mouse," two more chorused.

"Donald duck," another hiccuped.

"Together we will hold your banner high," Orion finished. Then he and the rest sang, "Come along, sing the song, join the jamboree. M-I-C-K-E-Y Q-R-S-T-U-V," Orion started to oversing the others, "W-S-Y-and-Z. Now I know my ABC's, next time won't you sing with me?" His head sunk down to the table and he started giggling insufferably. It was at that point that Soundwave decided to enter the room and Orion decided he hadn't had enough of a challenge. He stumbled out of his chair, nearly falling flat on his face, and waved a finger in a circle two feet away from 'Wave's face at another Soundwave only he could see.

"Beat that you faceless creep," he slurred before falling back in his chair, grinning to himself.

"I bet he's the rapist," a Vehicon whispered inaudibly.

Soundwave merely stared at them before a recording played off his visor.

"_Now somebody, anybody, everybody scream!_" A few Vehicons actually did this. "_Tell me what's making ya jump like that, SIMP, squirrels in my pants! Ain't got no chickens, ain't got no rats, SIMP, squirrels in my pants! S to the I to the M to the P, then maybe you can be moving like me. Step right over and watch me put it down. Step right over and watch me put it, S to the I to the M to the P! Who you got back home, watering your plants, SIMP, squirrels in my pants! How can I qualify for government grants, SIMP, squirrels in my pants! Yeah, hypnotize me, put me in a trance, SIMP, squirrels in my pants. Got an Aunt Florence living in France, she can't see the squirrels in my pants! Step right over and watch me put it down! Step right over and watch me put it, S to the I to the M to the P!_" Soundwave then calmly shut off the recording and walked out without a word.

All of the drunks were staring and one even clapped.

"We just got served," Orion stated before he passed out.

**((Okay, I'll admit, I got the last two from the 26 hour takeover marathon and 'Ways to Have Fun on the Nemesis' repectively. Please don't sue me.))**


	2. 11-20

**((Here's another chapter, just for you people who thought it was hilarious. Please can you submit some ideas of your own? I'm running out of ideas.))**

**11. Kidnap random humans and try to adopt them as pets**

"Awww," Steve cooed, tapping the glass of the pod he held in his grasps gingerly. Inside sat a raven-haired teen who was glaring at him with fury in his eyes, yet the Vehicon didn't notice. He instead hugged the pod tighter, ignoring how the glass cracked. "He's so cute I just wanna die! I'm gonna hug 'em and squeeze 'em and name 'em George and never let 'em go!"

Greg snorted. "Amateur," he held up his pod, which had a smaller, spiky-haired human with more appropriate fear in his eyes. "I'm naming my Fluffy. It's practical and it's not stupid."

"George is not stupid," Steve snapped. "George is the best thing ever!" He jerked the pod away. "Don't listen to him George. He's just jealous of you."

Matt tapped the glass on the pod he held, ignoring how the human femme stuck her tongue out at him. "I think I'll call mine Banana," he decided. At both Steve and Greg's odd looks, he shifted. "What?"

"Well that was way out of left field," Greg remarked. "Why 'Banana'?"

Matt shrugged. "It just looks like a Banana to me." He ignored the cry of, "I do not!" "Is that a bad thing?"

Greg looked at Steve, who shrugged, then turned back and shook his head. "I guess not."

"Will you idiots stop screwing around?" All three froze and quickly saluted as Starscream, Knock Out, and Soundwave stepped up, snatching the pods from them and stepping through the open Space Bridge without a care.

"Noooo! George!"

**12. Prank a random, unsuspecting person, part 1**

Megatron was walking down the hall of the _Nemesis_, which he noticed was oddly empty and quiet, when he felt his foot brush against something taut. He looked down to take notice of a trip wire stretched from one side of the hall to the other. There was a popping and creaking noise and he looked up sharply.

Right in time to get smacked in the face by a whole boatload of banana cream pies. The Decepticon leader clenched his fists as the white and yellow glop flowed down his body, now coating every part of his armor.

"Sur-" A bunch of Vehicons jumped out, Steve at their lead. Upon noticing the victim in question, their demeanor quickly changed. "-slag."

"Steve," Megatron growled. The Vehicons backed up, gulping.

"Run away!" Steve shouted and he and the others took off. Megatron, with a roar, chased after them.

**13. Play Ultimate Mini-Con**

The first groan came from behind a door. Megatron was continuing down the hall to the bridge to get a progress update from Soundwave when he came upon a Vehicon in a random storage room. His soldier was groaning in pain and bleeding slightly. As Megatron continued along, he caught sight of other injured 'bots, even noticing Knock Out amongst them, all injured and in pain. Finally, he reached the bridge, where Soundwave was working diligently. On the bridge was the only other 'bot who wasn't injured, Dreadwing, sitting in a chair and calmly sipping Energon.

"What happened?" Megatron asked, confused. "Autobot attack?"

"The troops were bored, my liege," Dreadwing said, reading a datapad. "So they decided to play Ultimate Mini-Con."

"Ultimate…Mini-Con?" Megatron repeated.

"Like Ultimate Frisbee, only with Soundwave's Mini-Cons," Dreadwing explained.

"Well what happened?"

"They picked the wrong Mini-Con," Dreadwing said simply. Out in the hallway, Ravage ambled down the hall, taking the time to growl at a random, groaning bot before returning to his master.

"Yeah!" Rumble crowed from his position beside Frenzy, following his brother and the cat back inside. "Take that! You suckers got served!"

**14. When the intercom or comlinks come on, drop to the floor in a fetal ball and rock back and forth screaming, "It's those voices again!"**

Everyone was strongly fearing for Breakdown's sanity after he did this. On the plus side, he got a few weeks off from duty, and lots of time to spend with Knock Out.

**15. Catch somebody in a Pokemon battle Smosh-style**

Dreadwing was returning to his quarters after a failed Energon retrieval when he got the strangest feeling he was being watched. He turned to see no one there, although he brought out his gun, and continued along, jumping at every little sound. Suddenly, upbeat music began to play, and somebody approached him out of the shadows.

"Starscream?" Dreadwing asked, confused. He'd thought the former SIC was a rogue now, a scavenger, no better than a Scraplet. Yet here the Seeker was, dressed up in some kind of gaudy human attire that was awful looking on him.

"You walked in front of me!" Starscream exclaimed in stilted speech. "Let's battle!" Suddenly the room around Dreadwing faded to black and came back in, with Starscream taking a pose in front of him.

"Hold on," he held a hand up. "How did you get on this ship?"

"Who cares? Let's battle!" the scenario started again.

"Wait, wait!" Dreadwing interrupted. "What do you mean by battle? Why are you on this ship? I thought Lord Megatron kicked you out."

Starscream, looking ticked, stormed up to Dreadwing, shoving his face in the other Seeker's. "Look dude, I have been standing here for _five weeks straight_, waiting for _someone _to walk in front of me. Do _not _take this moment from me."

Dreadwing shrugged. "Fine," he relented and Starscream jumped back.

"Let's battle!" he announced and the scenario started again.

Meterosexual Hipster Starscream wants to battle! Meterosexual Hipster Starscream sent out Magikarp!

Starscream produced a red and white sphere and threw it. Out came Knock Out in a shock collar and a fish suit, who was grimacing.

"Dreadwing, thank Primus!" he exclaimed. "Get me out of this thing! Starscream's been keeping me hostage for five weeks!"

"Magikarp, use splash!" Starscream ordered.

"Get fragged!" Knock Out shouted back. Until Starscream cranked on the shock collar. "Ow! Okay, fine!" He flailed uselessly in the costume. "There, are you happy?"

Magikarp used Splash! It had no effect!

"Now can you get me out of this Dreadwing?" Knock Out snapped.

Dreadwing looked at Knock Out, looked at Starscream, and looked at this gun. Then he looked at all three. He raised the gun.

"Dreadwing, what are you doing?" Knock Out flinched away.

Dreadwing used Gatling Gun! It's super effective! Knock Out bit the dust!

"Oh c'mon!" Starscream complained as he recalled Knock Out's broken form. "That's the third time this week! Fine, here!" He threw something down and vanished again.

Dreadwing won! Dreadwing got an Energon block for winning! Why do I yell everything?!

Dreadwing shrugged and started back to his quarters, drinking the Energon.

**16. Oppa Gangnam Style**

The bridge had been overtaken, which was the first thing Megatron had noticed when he came through the doors. There was multicolor light shining from a disco ball overhead and Starscream was leading Knock Out, Breakdown, and some Vehicons in doing that ridiculous Korean dance he'd discovered on YouTube a week ago. Airachnid was off to one side and trying not to be embarrassed.

"_Hey sexy lady,_" Starscream was singing and, as the crowd parted, Megatron was surprised to see even Soundwave doing the dance as well. His friend beckoned tauntingly. The Decepticon leader shrugged. Why not? Soon he too was doing the dance.

"Kill me now," Airachnid muttered.

**17. Conduct a raid**

After a few Decepticons were caught doing…questionable (read as: naughty) acts in a storage room, Megatron had decided that regular raids needed to be conducted in order to 'bust' anybody doing anything stupid. He appointed Airachnid to this task and Knock Out as her partner. Neither really liked doing it.

"Are you sure Lord Megatron won't be upset if we go into his quarters without his permission?" Knock Out asked nervously. The two were approaching the door to the Dark Lord's room, Airachnid with her spider legs out.

"Lord Megatron said _every _room had to be inspected," she reminded him. "So unless you wish to disobey his orders, suck it up and deal with it." She got on one side of the door, Knock Out on the other. "On three. One, two, three!"

The two tore the door down and darted in, Knock Out with his buzzsaw out. "Freeze, this is a raid!" Airachnid shouted. "Blasters down and weapons offline, hands where we can see them!"

What they saw startled them. Megatron sat on his berth, having bolted upright when his door was knocked down. He was wearing a monogrammed bathrobe and eating Energon goodies while a projected grainy 80's soap opera played on a nearby wall. However, the most disturbing part was the obvious tear stains on his cheeks.

"What are you doing in here?" he demanded, voice heavy. "I mean, um, I wasn't crying. Airachnid, what's the meaning of this?"

"A regular raid, my liege," Airachnid replied. "You said every room."

"Not mine you imbecile!" he shouted. "These are my private quarters!"

"Are you watching _As the Kitchen Sinks_?" Knock Out asked. "Funny, I always pegged you for a _One Life to Live _kind of person."

"Out!" Megatron roared and a fusion cannon blast hit the wall to the left of Airachnid's head. "Go bother Starscream or something!"

The two fled from the room as if their lives depended on it, which they did. "Okay, we're done," Knock Out sighed with relief.

"You heard him," Airachnid beamed. "'Screamer's next."

"Oh boy," Knock Out gulped. "Why do I feel like this won't end well?"

The two approached the next door. "One, two, three!" They broke in, Airachnid repeating her warnings. However, both skidded to a halt at the sight before them.

Starscream was kissing a lifesize Megatron plushy passionately while hugging him, not even aware of his guests. Airachnid's jaw was hanging down and one optic was twitching. Knock Out couldn't stop staring.

Starscream broke off the kiss and rubbed a hand down plushie Megatron's cheek lovingly. "Until next time, my love," he whispered, tucking the plushy away in the closet, before he turned to notice Airachnid and Knock Out. "Ahh! I mean, um, how much of that did you two see?"

"All of it," Airachnid said bluntly. "I'd heard of kissing up to the boss, but this is ridiculous."

They continued staring at each other.

"Awkward," Knock Out interjected.

"You didn't see any of that," Starscream warned. "Say anything and…" He suddenly ducked under his berth and came out with two cubes of high grade Energon. He shoved one in Airachnid's hands, one in Knock Out's, and practically shoved them out the door. "Good night now." And the door slid shut.

"…That was weird," Knock Out remarked. That was before Soundwave turned a corner, stumbling down the hall with his hands spread in front of him. He spun and did a graceful ballet dance to the tune of a song from the Nutcracker, before slamming into a wall and slumping down it, passing out. "…Okay, that was weirder."

"Now we're done," Airachnid clarified.

**18. Do something totally random and unexpected**

Airachnid had an idea. She was planning on messing with somebody, anybody. Really, the first person who passed under her. She was stuck on a web to the ceiling, waiting. Nobody had passed by in a while, which was weird, because there were usually at least some Vehicons she could've punked. Then again, quite a few of the troops were marveling at Knock Out getting stuck in a wall after listening to Steve's advice on how to get his armor the shiniest ever. Everyone knew that peanut butter, jumper cables, phase displacement armor, a durabyllium drill, and a universal remote was a recipe for bad things.

All of a sudden, Airachnid was alerted to movement down below. Smiling, she readied herself. When the footsteps got close enough, she dropped down so that she was right in front of her unsuspecting prey. She clamped her hands on either side of the mech's face and kissed him, long and passionately.

When she pulled back, however, she was mortified to see Megatron standing there, looking at her with the visage of a confused puppy. She dropped down onto the ground, trying to think of an excuse, but one didn't come.

Then Megatron spoke. And it was slightly surprising. "You're not getting a raise," was all he said before he continued walking. She stared after him, blinking.

**19. Go to a registered(not) psychologist**

"I mean, I don't get why everyone likes to look at me like I'm just some big dumb brute," Breakdown was saying while sitting on the couch, one optic staring up at the ceiling. "It's always 'Breakdown, move this', 'Breakdown, move that', 'Breakdown, fetch this'. It's like I'm nothing but a common courier to them! And no matter what I do, nobody ever gives me the respect I deserve. So what if I got captured by humans? Those guys were tough! That leader guy took on Superman, I think, and he'd have to be tough to do that! What I'm trying to say, Doc, is that I'm not really so bad. I like to think that I'm complex, like an onion. Sure I'm big, but I'm not completely dumb. I can be sensitive and sweet and a really nice guy. Do you know what I'm saying, Doc?" Breakdown turned to meet Knock Out's face in his, friend's expression annoyed.

"Breakdown?"

"Yeah, Doc?"

"Get off my couch,"

Breakdown sighed and climbed off the couch. "Yes Knock Out."

**20. Run down the halls screaming something random to whip people into a frenzy**

"RUN!" Starscream shrieked, running down the hall with Breakdown on his heels. "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! THE BRITISH CARROTS HAVE COME TO CONQUER OUR SHIP AND STEAL OUR SOULS! FOR PRIMUS'S SAKE, KEEP RUNNING!" Soon Starscream had a mass of panicked Vehicons following him, and an unfortunate Knock Out was trampled. Megatron had everyone punished, but mostly Starscream.

**((I kind of got idea number 13 from one of Starhorse's live action comics, It's All Fun and Games..., I think it was. Like I said, please submit.))**


	3. 21-30

**((Thank you for your ideas, I've given you credit. By the way, Megatron and Starscream's conversation in 21 is based off of Transformers Play Battleship on How it should have ended. And on 27, that is a real video that plays on the Hub during Huboom, and it is hilarious. Go watch it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything famous sounding. Or Transformers.))**

**21. Play Battleship (submitted by SapphirePrincess1020)**

Megatron and Starscream were sitting in the bridge with the game boards in front of them. Megatron was looking bored while Starscream was looking determined.

"B-4," the Seeker said, looking up. Megatron barely cast a glance down.

"Miss," he muttered. "D-9."

Starscream frowned. "Hit. Again. Are you sure you're not cheating?"

"I'm sure," Megatron told him.

"Hmm. E—wait, so this is a movie?" Starscream asked, gesturing to the game in front of him. "This shrimpy little game here is a movie?"

"Yes," Megatron nodded.

"I mean, a real movie?" Starscream persisted. "C-6."

"Miss," Megatron said again. "And yes, it's a movie. And apparentally we had something to do with it. Or one of our spin-off movies did."

"That's ridiculous!" Starscream exclaimed. "I mean, a _real _movie? Because _this_, this does not feel like movie material."

"Well I think the movie isn't human battleships fighting against each other," Megatron commented. "It's alien battleships versus human battleships. Or something."

"Oh, well at least _that _sounds more interesting," Starscream remarked.

"Hmm," Megatron was starting to say. "E…"

"Do the aliens look like these plastic pieces ?" Starscream asked, holding one up.

"I don't know," Megatron said, irritated. "I haven't seen it."

"I can't stand it when movies make something we've known for ages look completely different just for a movie," Starscream exclaimed.

"Uh,"

"You know what I mean?" Starscream asked.

Megatron failed to point out the Bayverse to Starscream. "Sure."

"I would never do that," Starscream said.

"E-si-" Megatron started but Starscream cut him off.

"I'd never change the way I look just for the box office."

"Okay, Starscream, can we just continue the game?" Megatron demanded.

"Alright," Starscream agreed. "Geez. Megatron gets touchy during Battleship." Megatron shot him a look. "Point taken. Let's see. A-sev-"

"It's my turn, Starscream," Megatron interrupted.

"I'm _sorry _Lord Megatron," Starscream continued. "I was too busy trying to fathom why this puny little board game is now a full-length motion picture that I forgot who's turn it was! Is that so wrong?"

"It's alright," Megatron started, but Starscream was on a tangent.

"Is that too much for you?"

"Shut up," Megatron ordered.

"Yes sir,"

"E-sev-"

"Did you know that Rihanna's in the movie?" Starscream asked eagerly.

Megatron stared at him, before he hit Starscream over the head with the board and stormed out grumbling.

Starscream rubbed his head. "What did I say?"

**22. Write Love Poems (submitted by PrimeEmily135)**

"A-hem," Breakdown cleared his throat. He held a sheet of paper and was bowed on one knee before Airachnid, who had no idea what he was doing. Neither did the thirty odd Vehicons and Lord Megatron who were watching with confusion. "An ode to my dear and the love of my life. That's you." Airachnid blinked. "Roses are red, violets are blue, you're so sweet, I love you." Airachnid was about to interrupt the kindergarten grade rhyming when Breakdown kicked it up a notch. "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Nah, for thou art far hotter and much shinier. Shall I compare thee to the flowers' bloom in spring? Nah, for thou art the lily of mine optics, the rose plucked from bush so sharp, beautiful yet deadly. Shall I compare thee to a spider's web? Nah, for thou webs art far glossier, a gossamer sheet, a silken curtain, woven for a beauty far beyond it's depths. I have loved and will always love you. Please love me back. Love, Breakdown." He dropped the paper and stood up. "So, what did you think?"

"It was…interesting," Airachnid nodded. "But I'm really more Knock Out's type." And she started off, leaving Breakdown to stare and gape. Knock Out walked up to him, smirking.

"What can I say?" he shrugged. "Femmes go crazy for a sharp-buffed mech."

**23. Kidnap Ravage, put him in a Nyan Cat costume, and run down the halls holding him while someone else follows with a boombox playing the Nyan Cat song (submitted by Soundwave'sGirl180)**

Soundwave never did quite forgive Steve for pulling that stunt, and Ravage clawed at them and growled every time they passed. So it was probably no surprised that the perpetrators woke up one morning smeared in fish guts with a rabid bear locked in their quarters. It took hours to get the blood out…and one could've sworn he heard Soundwave laughing through the halls.

**24. Have a Dance Dance Revolution competition (submitted by Anonymous BW FG)**

Dreadwing was, surprisingly, the reigning champion of the mat, until Soundwave stepped up there. A quick bout of 'I Like to Move It Move It' and a new winner was declared.

**25. Yell "Group hug!" then enforce it (submitted by Anonymous BW FG)**

Megatron was going to do something random. And, for once, he wasn't going to be criticized. He'd been needing some cheering up. So he stepped into the crowded bridge and yelled randomly, "Group hug!" Everyone stared, until he shot at the ceiling randomly with his fusion cannon. "Anyone who does not hug me within the next ten seconds will lose his head!"

There was a long line of waiting to hug Lord Megatron.

**26. Watch 'The Transformers: The Movie' and cry when Optimus Prime dies**

"WAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Megatron was bawling his optics out and dabbing at them with a tissue. "It's just so sad! Why'd he have to go and die like that?" Soundwave patted his leader on the back comfortingly, before Megatron wrapped him in a hug. Soundwave stiffened up at the awkward bromance but hugged him back. And everyone still stared.

**27. Huboom for your afternoon**

Megatron had gathered the troops together for a regular meeting after their last defeat against the Autobots. Everything was going well, until something beeped on the monitor. Soundwave swiftly approached it and turned, looking at Megatron expectantly.

"A video?" Megatron asked, cocking an eyebrow. Everyone was unnerved by the uncanny way he instantly knew what Soundwave was talking about. "Very well. Play it."

Soundwave started it and music played. The video showed Decepticon Vehicons doing things and things exploding, with the lyrics also displayed:

"_HUBOOM!_

_For your afternoon!_

_Decepticons are getting in the groove!_

_Dropping bombs and shooting lasers too_

_Blowing stuff up, cause that's what we do!_

_Boom! Boom boom boom boom! Boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom!_

_BOOM!"_

Everyone stared. Steve then mimicked what the last 'Con on screen said. "Hey, now those were some good harmonies."

**28. Start to sing a random song for no apparent reason**

Knock Out strode down the hall, humming to himself. "_You got the touch!_" he sang aloud. "_You got the power!_" He passed right by Breakdown, who stared, before shrugging and joining his pal.

"_After all is said and done,_" the one-eyed lug sang. "_You've never walked, you've never run._"

"_You're a winner!_" A throng of Vehicons, including Steve, warbled from nearby. "_You got the moves, you know the streets._"

"_Break the rules, take the heat,_" Airachnid hummed when the two passed by her quarters, the spider femme joining in for no apparent reason either. "_You're nobody's fool._"

"_You're at your best when the goin' gets rough,_" Starscream nodded at Knock Out and Breakdown, "_You've been put to the test but it's never enough._"

"_You've got the touch!_" Megatron sang on the bridge, Soundwave listening. "_You got the power! When all hell's breakin' loose, you'll be riding the eye of the storm._"

Soundwave continued to record the singing. He loved the random breaking out into singing with no discernable music source. And it was a hit on YouTube.

**29. Play Hide and Go Seek**

"Umm, guys," Breakdown called tentatively, flailing from his place in the tight exhaust pipe he was stuck in. "I'm stuck. Hello? Anyone?" He sighed and lowered his arms. "I don't think anyone's coming to get me." He then brought his head up, struck by a sudden inspiration. "Hey, does this mean I won the game?"

**30. Zombies, dude!**

"Oh my gosh, it's zombies!" A Vehicon shrieked, streaking down the hall. "Run! Run!"

Megatron was walking past with Knock Out when he noticed the Vehicon. "Nice try," he snorted. "But Starscream's was more original."

That was when several more Vehicons ran past and a limp, dead Breakdown shot past, tackling Knock Out to the ground.

"I don't think he was kidding!" the medic screamed, trying to fend off zombie Breakdown. Zombie Breakdown was unimpressed and ripped Knock Out's arm off with his teeth. "I needed that!"

Megatron stared, unimpressed. "Okay, who dropped Dark Energon on Breakdown's corpse?

**((Please, submit. I'm running out of ideas.))**


	4. 31-40

**((Okay, I thought since I've gotten new reviews and I haven't updated in so long, I'd update the Decepticons' Activities List, with two chapters today. Yeah, you're welcome. I'm doing the best I can to update this story but since I'm working on both it and RABKA, plus whatever random ideas crawl inside my head, updates might be a bit slow. So I'm sorry, please don't freak out on me. Oh, and I've never played Lego Batman 2, so I know I screwed up epically on the description of it. Sorry.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of this. None of it.))**

**31. Put together a photo shoot (submitted by SapphirePrincess1020)**

"Alright," Steve stood by a camera with a few other Vehicons. "Work it, baby!" Knock Out was doing poses for a new scrapbook the Vehicon was putting together. "Let me feel what you feel. Show me what you got. Thrust those hips!" Knock Out was now doing a funky dance move ala Starscream while pictures were taken. "Yeah, yeah, that's it! That's the way you do it! Money for nothing, chicks for free, baby!"

"Megatron's coming," one Vehicon hissed. "Are we doing him next?"

"Do you think we should tell them we're posting this to Facebook?" another asked.

Steve batted them away. "No. What the superiors don't know won't hurt 'em." To Knock Out he called, "Oh yeah, work it baby! Smile for the camera!"

**32. Duct tape. 'Nough said.**

"STARSCREAM!" Megatron roared, voice echoing down the halls. He'd woken up to find himself duct-taped to the ceiling of the hallway and, as hard as he tried, he couldn't free himself. Several 'bots had passed without even noticing him while he was asleep. And he was certain he knew the culprit.

"Attention Decepticons," Starscream's voice called over the intercom. "Due to the disappearance of our beloved leader, I, Starscream, am your new leader."

"I'll kill him for this," Megatron muttered.

**33. Trick Megatron into believing that Soundwave loves him (submitted by Soundwave'sGirl180)**

"Hey, did you hear?" Steve was chatting casually (and loudly) to his friend Greg in the bridge, right as Megatron entered. "I've heard that Soundwave's got this super crush on Lord Megatron." Megatron paused at this and listened in, intrigued. "Yeah, I've heard that ol' faceless slips into Megatron's room at night and just stares at him, all Paranormal Activity style. Then, the freaky thing is, he always feels the need to kiss him before he leaves. Right there on the mouth." Megatron blinked and looked away; he remembered something like that happening, although he could've sworn he'd dreamt it. "And that's not the least of it: the guy's got a shrine too."

"A shrine?" Greg sounded intrigued and Megatron watched on, fascinated. "Like Knock Out to his car mode shrine?"

"Naw," Steve waved a hand. "Like crazy fangirl stalker shrine. I'm talking armor plating, pictures, hand-made plushies, recordings of his voice—the whole she-bang. It's crazy scary and he actually threatened me with death the last time I wandered in there. Soundy's even got his own fusion cannon replica of Lord Megatron's, if that's not weird enough. And haven't you seen how he stares with lust at Megsy?" Megatron blinked. He had noticed Soundwave to be watching him more often than usual.

"I can never really tell," Greg shrugged. "With that mask and all it's hard to tell."

Megatron continued to stare off blankly even as the two wandered off. He turned slightly and yelped loudly at Soundwave standing there expectantly. His optics shifted back and forth. "Oh, um, Soundwave," he stuttered. "I, uhm, didn't see you there. What did you need?"

Soundwave merely continued to stare expectantly, until Megatron was thoroughly unnerved. "Soundwave?" he said hesitantly. "You know, it is, uhm, to be expected that you would have, err, strong feelings for me. After all, we have been friends for a long time." Soundwave blinked under his visor; where was Megatron going with this? "And I know this may sound insensitive, but, uh, I'm not really that type. Although I heard that Knock Out's available."

Soundwave blinked again. Was his leader implying that he was…No, no, it couldn't be. He took a step toward his leader and Megatron took a step back.

"I'm not gay!" his leader snapped and ran out of the room. "Stay away from me!"

Soundwave turned on his heel at the chuckling Vehicons. "_And I suppose you think that is funny?_" he played back a recording.

"Hilarious," Steve replied. "Even funnier when he learns all that stuff we mentioned is really Starscream's doing."

**34. Tie up Soundwave with his own tentacles (submitted by Soundwave'sGirl180)**

Soundwave flailed and cursed, but it was futile. He was stuck in his own quarters, tied up in a chair by his own tentacles, no doubt Steve and Greg's work. The worst part was that nobody would come for him since nobody really had the guts to go into his quarters. Megatron was out on patrol, so he would be stuck for a couple of hours.

Terrific.

**35. Play Lego Batman 2 on the Wii (submitted by Anonymous BW FG)**

"Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" Megatron laughed while mashing buttons furiously on his Wii remote. "Die puny bricklings! Die!"

"Lord Megatron, for the last time, you can't kill the civilians," Knock Out informed him again. "Now why did I have to be Robin?"

"Because I'm Batman!" Megatron exclaimed. "I'm awesome that way."

"Wee!" Steve exclaimed; his character was Superman. "Look at me, I can fly!"

The group was actually doing pretty well, until their characters were randomly shot and turned back into random pieces. A blue, red, and white jet flew high above them and made a raspberry noise before turning and flying offscreen. The game suddenly flickered off.

"Oh c'mon!" Megatron roared and threw his controller down, breaking it. "We played for thirteen hours straight! We had to redo level two fifteen times!"

"Was that a Kreon?" Knock Out asked. "Hang on, isn't this a Lego game? How'd a Kreon get in a Lego game?"

"Looked like Starscream to me," Steve shrugged. Everyone looked at him. "What? It did!"

After everyone had left the room, the game came back on. Kreon Starscream's head popped up and looked around, before making a face with his tongue sticking out. He chuckled and then vanished.

**36. Read Fanfiction (submitted by Anonymous BW FG)**

Soundwave physically recoiled at all of the Soundwave/Megatron slash and changed the screen back to the listing quickly.

"Cool," Steve pointed at one. "Let's read that; it's got me in it."

"Are you joking?" Starscream pointed another one out. "This one is starring yours truly."

"Silence," Megatron ordered. "Soundwave, look up 'Pint-Sized'."

"That annoying story about those toy us-es?" Starscream asked. "Bor-ing. We should be reading fanfiction about me."

"We could read a Megatron/Starscream slash fic," Steve suggested. Everyone stared. "What? There are such things."

"No," Megatron said simply. "If you find any, burn them. Keep going."

**37. Watch tributes on YouTube (submitted by Anonymous BW FG)**

"_You're the one who sets the bar, the hairdo king, the fashion czar, you're fabulous! I'm fabulous! You're fabulous! I'm fabulous!" _Knock Out smiled at the video tribute to him.

"I know I am," he replied cockily, hand on his hip. Starscream rolled his optics.

"Why are there so many Knock Out tributes?" the Seeker muttered. "Hey, look." He pointed at one. "What's this one? 'Transformers Prime-1987 Transformers Movie Theme Song'? Let's watch it."

The video played, showing Autobots and Decepticons in epic scenes from every Prime episode in Season One to the tune of the original theme song from the movie.

What really cracked everybody up was Megatron and Optimus's fight outside the volcano, set to the theme of the Touch.

**38. "Oh My Gosh They Killed Kenny!" "You ****BASTARDS!" (submitted by Kingstriker)**

"Oh my gosh!" Steve screamed, running through the hallways of the Nemesis, Greg in tow. "They killed Kenny!"

"Fraggers!" Greg shouted alongside him. The two kept doing this, running past the rec. room right as Kenny the Vehicon came out to hear it.

"Wait, what?" he finally asked after they'd sped around the corner. "Eh, never mind."

**39. Declare a 'Punch Everybody in the Face Day' (submitted by Kingstriker)**

Everybody really agreed that Megatron's 'Punch Everybody in the Face Day' was a bad idea. Most agreed that it was an accumulation of too much time on his hands, too little Autobot activity, and an obsessive need to punch Starscream with an excuse for doing it. And it was a consensus that 'Punch Everybody in the Face Day' really translated out to 'Beat the Slag out of Starscream Day'. Not that anyone had a problem with it.

**40. Watch horror movies then freak people out after it.**

All the 'Cons watching the movie jumped at a scream. Most were eating Energon goodies, some were hugging each other, and one was crying in a corner. Megatron was sitting in the middle of the group, optics shifting, trying his best not to show how much Paranormal Activity 3 was scaring him.

"It's just a movie," he repeated under his breath once it went off. "It's just a movie, it's just a movie, it's just a movie."

Without his immediate knowledge, at that exact moment, Soundwave decided to come up behind his leader. He put a hand on Megatron's shoulder and the Decepticon leader jumped up, immediately punching his TIC in the face so hard his visor cracked.

"It's real!" he shrieked like a little girl, streaking out of the hangar and down the hall. "Oh Primus it's trying to eat my soul! SOMEBODY HELP ME!"

**((Yeah, I threw in a tiny Transformers Kreon reference. Couldn't resist; they're just soooo cute!))**


	5. 41-50

**((And here's chapter number two. Yeah, these might suck, but I did them in a rush, so I'm sorry 'bout dat. Please enjoy.))**

**41. Watch the Batman movies (submitted by Decepticon-silverstreak)**

"That was epic!" Steve cheered as the last Batman movie went off. Several others agreed with him.

"I still say that it's physically impossible for any mere fleshling to do all of that," Starscream shook his head.

"He's no mere fleshling, 'Screamer," Knock Out replied. "He's Batman. It's what he does."

"Still, I think it's stupid." Everyone gasped at this. "What?"

"He did not just say that," Breakdown shook his head. "He didn't just diss Batman."

"Let's get him!" Somebody shouted. Starscream ran off with the whole of the Decepticon army on his girly heels. Right after they left, Megatron jumped into the room, dressed up as Batman.

"Batman!" he exclaimed, ruffling the cape, before noticing no one was there. He looked around, before sighing. "Too late."

**42. Walk around the ship in bare protoform and then stand in front of a random house and moon whoever comes out *the Darby house* (submitted by Fanatic97)**

It was Breakdown's fault, really, for getting Dreadwing drunk. The Seeker, in his drunken stupor, had decided to strip down to his bare protoform, leaving his armor behind, and strut around the ship humming some song stupidly. Worse, no one had been able to stop him from leaving the ship, which the Vehicons were criticized for greatly.

Needless to say, the Autobots were very surprised when they turned on the news to see Dreadwing having draped himself over the Darby house, mooning anyone inside or outside the residence.

**43. Pretend to be a secret agent**

"Dooby dooby doo bah," Starscream hummed to himself while darting around the ship wearing a fedora, making sure no one could see him. Whenever anyone appeared, he either hid in a nearby room or hung from the ceiling, making sure to hang onto his hat. "Dooby dooby doo bah." He went from the barracks to the Energon storage room. "Dooby dooby doo bah." From there he headed past the rec room. "Dooby dooby doo bah." Then he made it to the bridge, ducking in and letting the door closed. Megatron had his back turned to him, engaged in a conversation with Knock Out over something.

"He's an epic flying awesome Seeker of action," Starscream hummed quietly to himself. "He's a handsome awesome Seeker who'll never flinch from the fray-ay-ay! He's got more than just mad skills, he's got thrusters and some missiles. And the femmes swoon whenever they hear his name." He paused, flashing a smile. "He's Starscream, Starscream the Decepticon! Starscream! Duh duh duh duh duh! Agent S!" Starscream made it up right behind Megatron before the Decepticon leader calmly turned to snatch him up by his wing and toss him aside.

"How'd you know I was there?" Starscream protested. "I'm a secret agent!"

"It's because I'm," Megatron paused and Soundwave, over by the computer, started playing the James Bond theme, "Tron. Megatron. And I don't need a license to kill." He pointed his fusion cannon at Starscream for emphasis, and then turned away.

"You just got served," Knock Out joked, ignoring Starscream's look.

**44. Turn a random 'Con into a sparkling (submitted by LinkKirbyMario)**

"You have to admit," Knock Out chuckled, ignoring Dreadwing's steely look. "He's kind of cute like this."

Megatron shot his subordinate a smoldering look. He was a lot shorter than the medic now, all his spikes rounded out, optics much too big for his face. The look was more of a pout and Knock Out 'aww'd' at his now-a-sparkling leader. "I'm not cute! Now fix this Knock Out! Now!"

"Can't I play with you first?" Knock Out protested, picking up Megatron. "You're like a baby kitten."

"I have to admit, he's right," Airachnid nodded. "You are adorable."

"Not helping Aiwachnid. Dweadwing, do something!" Megatron turned to him for assistance.

"…I believe I'm needed elsewhere," Dreadwing hurried off to do anything else.

"Dweadwing? Dweadwing!" Megatron growled to himself, even as Knock Out and Airachnid were taking him out. "I'll get you back fow this, all of you! You'll be weady fow the scwap pile once I'm done!"

Soundwave watched his leader be taken away, and turned back to his work.

**45. Play Call of Duty without actually knowing how to play it (submitted by Guest)**

It was really starting to get annoying when Starscream refused to give the PS3 up, obsessively insisting he could finally beat CoD Black Ops 2, despite the fact that he had no idea what to do. It was only after the Seeker tried to shoot Megatron with a Playstation controller did the Decepticon leader have the game banned.

**46. Record the Decepticons' sleep-talking (submitted by PixelusPrime *sorry, no sexual stuff, so no Airachnid thing*)**

Soundwave had been having the oddest nightmares lately, and was sure he'd been hearing something in his room. It could've always been Rumble and Frenzy in a silent skirmish or Ravage clawing the ground but he didn't think so. So, in order to calm his thoughts, he used the cameras to record actions in all of the superior's rooms at night, just to find out who the culprit was. Then, the next morning, he played them back.

Megatron was lying on his back on his berth, both hands on his midsection, resting comfortably. "Cybertron," he muttered. "All mine. Optimus Prime." He fidgeted, face contorting in a snarl. "One shall fall…I'll crush you with my bare hands…" Then he rolled over on his side. "No Unicron…no sparkly cookies…no, I don't wanna Galvatron-ize, I like being Megatron, supreme lord of the Decepticons!" He shot up at this and waved a hand in the air. "Curse you Optimus Prime." He then slumped back down, asleep. Soundwave calmly deleted the footage and moved on.

Starscream was on his berth, clutching his Megatron plushie like a teddy bear. "Omega Key," he said to himself in his grogginess. "Each one…revive Cybertron and seize the throne as Starscream the first, supreme overlord and Emperor of Destruction!" He sat up on his berth, smiling, optics only partially dimmed. "All hail Starscream!" He then hugged his plushie and kissed it on the cheek. "Isn't that right Megsy honey?" He let out a maniacal cackle and fell back to sleep. Soundwave saved that video to his blackmail file.

The next video was of Knock Out and Breakdown, both in their respective berths in the same room. Breakdown was shaking violently in his sleep, rolling into a fetal ball.

"N-No," he stuttered. "N-No, Motormaster, it wasn't me. I wasn't the one who screwed up; it was Dead End. He's the one who keeps droning on and on about how pointless it is…" he flinched at some unseen demon. "They were staring at me. I had to make it stop. I'm sorry, please don't—n-no. No! Please! Primus that hurts!" He fell still twitching. "Please stop the hurting. Please."

Knock Out had an entirely different action. The mech was completely still, stone still. Until his body started to shake and convulse violently. He sat up on his berth stiffly, optics pulsing brightly.

"Soulsss," he rasped. "I need soulsss." His optics honed in on the camera, face contorting in a demonic grin. He then lunged at the camera and Soundwave scrambled back. The screen had gone black.

Soundwave quickly deleted the footage. No one needed to know.

**47. Gossip on the Nemesis (submitted by EndlessHope'22)**

"Hey, did you hear?" Knock Out didn't even look up from his work to acknowledge Breakdown. "I heard that Soundwave's really freaked Megatron out."

"What else is new?" Knock Out shot back. "That guy's freaky to begin with."

"Yeah, but the boss isn't ever scared of him. Turns out he's got a shrine of Megatron in his quarters." He thought. "Hey, do you think he got it from Starscream?"

"Who knows?" Knock Out shrugged. "What's really juicy is that Airachnid's got a thing going for the Autobot medic."

"No!" Breakdown exclaimed.

"Yes. I heard her confessing all about it to one of the Vehicons," Knock Out explained. "And I've got audio evidence. Total blackmail material. That is, if I can give it to Lord Megatron without getting my head cut off." That was when Starscream nervously snuck into the room, glancing around. "Hello Starscream. Back for more?"

"Yes please," the Seeker nodded. "Someone looted my shrine." The Seeker handed the medic a bottle of wax and was handed familiar silver armor, charred and broken.

"Did you hear about Soundwave being in love with Megatron?" Knock Out chatted casually and Starscream tensed up. "Yeah, and rumor has it the big guy has the same feelings for him."

"Does he now?" Starscream murmured. "I see. Thank you Knock Out." The Seeker exited the room and Knock Out sniggered.

"What was that for?" Breakdown asked. At that exact moment they heard a loud shriek and tussling as Starscream threw himself at Soundwave and the two fought.

"Bonus," Knock Out smirked.

**48. Frankenweenie (submitted by D.D Natanya)**

"It's alive!" Starscream cackled madly. "Alive! Alive! Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" He then stared down at the tiny (to him) Frankenstein dog which was scratching it's ear and panting. "…Maybe I didn't think this through that well."

**49. Eat some pie (submitted by D.D Natanya)**

"Ooh, pie!" Starscream exclaimed, immediately darting toward the Energon pie that had been left on the console. He was grabbed and tossed back before he could grab a slice and Megatron glared at him.

"My pie," the Decepticon leader established. Starscream, grumbling, stormed out of the room.

**50. Eat more pie (submitted by D.D Natanya)**

Starscream flinched away as Megatron was screaming at him for yet another failure against the Autobots. The Seeker sniffled and gave Megatron a look before the Decepticon leader paused, looking annoyed.

"What?" he demanded irritably.

"When you yell at me it hurts my feelings," Starscream said in a small voice.

Megatron looked at him before sighing and handing him a piece of Energon pie. Starscream stared at it before snatching it and running away cackling. "Yes! I finally got pie!"

The Decepticon leader stared, before realizing he'd been suckered and face-palming.

**((Breakdown's dream is a G1 reference and a reference to the stories by QoS and Taipan Kiryu involving the Stunticons respectively. Go read 'em folks. Megatron's got a reference to G1 too and number 50 has some Starhorse material in it. I don't own any of that.))**


End file.
